Taken For Granted

I have been depressed for the past couple of months and I don't really understand why. I thought that it could be because I know a friend will pass soon. I also thought it was because a good friend moved away. I know that I have reasons to be sad but then I feel bad for being sad. I feel that I am taking my life for granted and I should be happy to just exist. I have always believed that our Lord sacrificed his son for us. Our savior gave up his life for us and I should always be grateful and happy for that. He went through so much and I have not even come close to the pain he had to feel. What right do I have to sit around and waste the life he gave me just being depressed. Am I just an ungrateful oaf that does not deserve the love he showed us?

I wear a cross around my neck every day. I don't wear it so every one can see it, I wear it just for me. I wear it to remind me that I should be thankful for all he has given me. I take it off every night so I do not brake it in my sleep. When I bow my head every morning to put it back on it reminds me that I need to bow my head and say a small prayer of thanks. I have spent most of my life knowing the love He has had for me and I feel that now I am not living up to what He has had planned for my life. I just don't want My Lord to think that I would ever take His love for granted. I feel that I should be happy every day so that He sees that I am glad He died for me. I believe that if I stay happy and keep smiling that just maybe I can spread a little happiness and give back what He gave to me.

Every day I see people out and about. I hear them complain about their every day lives, complaining about what they do and don't have. The jealousy over some one having better or more then they have. I see the hatred that some have for others. I wonder do they know the love that I know? Do they even care to know His true love for us? Does Our Lord cry to see how our world has turned out and how mean people are to one another? I wonder if He feels that it was all for nothing and one day He will snap His finger and we shall cease to exist. We take so much for granted in our lives and never just stop and think, Who are we hurting and taking for granted today? Him!

Great Joy!

Beth, Tiffany, and Myself

I have been a stay at home Mom for about thirteen years. I have been babysitting children for over twenty years. This past October I quit watching children and decided to go back to school and get my G.E.D. I had spent so many years in my home that I was afraid to go out into the real world. I went to the store from time to time but that is not what you would call getting out and meeting new people and doing new things. I almost chickened out and didn't go to sign up, but with the love of my friends and family and two very special friends I did. I was so scared that I was not smart enough to make it or that I wasn't brave enough to keep going, but after a couple of weeks I really enjoyed the time spent there. I was out meeting new people and I was less afraid of what others may have thought of me.


On May 16,2007 I walked up the stairs to the podium and recieved my diploma. Just knowing that I made it and that I could do it put so much joy in me. I hope this feeling never fades away. Seeing all my friends and family there cheering me on and the pride in thier faces was enough to last me for the rest of my life. I don't know what I want to be or where I may end up , but I do know that as long as I have the Lord and the love of my family and friends I can do anything. I would tell anyone who wants to try to get thier G.E.D. to just go for it. I did and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I Cry Alone

I have a lot of people I call my friends. I talk to them as much as I can because I know that they need me. I like to make sure they always know that they can count on me to be there. In happy times or sad times I am always there. I want to be a comfort to them when times get rough and a source of laughter to keep them smiling. I keep a smile on my face and a song always plays in my heart. I have never placed any of my problems in the laps of my friends. I have always felt that I can handle any problems that come my way,until now.

A very dear friend of mine will pass away in the next year or so. This is the first time in my life that I have not been able to handle my emotions. I have tried to talk to friends about how I feel,but most of them are related to her and it causes them pain to talk about it. I don't want to cause them any more pain,but I need to talk to some one. I have a very close friend that I was talking to about it but I am not the one to bother people so I have stopped the talks all together. He has too much going on to deal with my emotional dilemmas. Usually praying has solved any problem I have had, but this time I need an answer.

I need to know that it is ok to feel the anger that I feel. I have never felt this kind of anger before and there is no one to be angry with. I know that it is just life and we have to deal with these things in our lives but right now I don't want to. I want to be a spoiled little kid that didn't get what they wanted and throw a fit. I want to scream until I have no voice. I want to punch some one or brake someything. Why do I have to be an adult and deal with it.

I do have to deal with it some how and do it without causing anyone else pain and that is why I cry alone.

Love And Freedom

I was reading an article the other day that got me thinking. It involved a Jewish man and a Catholic woman. They met and decided to date and had dated for a while before they discused their religous back grounds. They decided to keep dating even after they found out they were from different back grounds. They enjoyed each others company and after being together for a couple of years decided to get married. The family would not hear of it, and forbid them to marry. What I don't understand is why do the families feel that they should have any say so. You don't choose who you fall in love with and why should religous differeces play a roll in deciding weather they get married or not.

There are so many people out there who long to have the love of a good woman or man but don't because the one they do happen to fall in love with is of a different religion. It is just stupid to not marry the one you love because of such a minor difference. I have heard people say that it could cause problems with raising children. It only causes problems because one side is not open mined enough to let the other side have a say. I would let my child know the best of both religions and let them decide when they are older what they want to believe.

We live in America where men have fought and died so we could have the freedoms that we have today. For someone to say that it is not allowed or that you can not, is a mockery of what those men stood and fought for. We have built our glorious nation on the belief that we are free to make whatever decisions we see fit to make. We may make the wrong decisions but I want the right to make that wrong decision. I want the freedom to say I love him or her and if it is a mistake then it is my mistake to make. I say to all the people who have come across this problem" LOVE and have the FREEDOM to be loved".