Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Taken For Granted

I have been depressed for the past couple of months and I don't really understand why. I thought that it could be because I know a friend will pass soon. I also thought it was because a good friend moved away. I know that I have reasons to be sad but then I feel bad for being sad. I feel that I am taking my life for granted and I should be happy to just exist. I have always believed that our Lord sacrificed his son for us. Our savior gave up his life for us and I should always be grateful and happy for that. He went through so much and I have not even come close to the pain he had to feel. What right do I have to sit around and waste the life he gave me just being depressed. Am I just an ungrateful oaf that does not deserve the love he showed us?

I wear a cross around my neck every day. I don't wear it so every one can see it, I wear it just for me. I wear it to remind me that I should be thankful for all he has given me. I take it off every night so I do not brake it in my sleep. When I bow my head every morning to put it back on it reminds me that I need to bow my head and say a small prayer of thanks. I have spent most of my life knowing the love He has had for me and I feel that now I am not living up to what He has had planned for my life. I just don't want My Lord to think that I would ever take His love for granted. I feel that I should be happy every day so that He sees that I am glad He died for me. I believe that if I stay happy and keep smiling that just maybe I can spread a little happiness and give back what He gave to me.

Every day I see people out and about. I hear them complain about their every day lives, complaining about what they do and don't have. The jealousy over some one having better or more then they have. I see the hatred that some have for others. I wonder do they know the love that I know? Do they even care to know His true love for us? Does Our Lord cry to see how our world has turned out and how mean people are to one another? I wonder if He feels that it was all for nothing and one day He will snap His finger and we shall cease to exist. We take so much for granted in our lives and never just stop and think, Who are we hurting and taking for granted today? Him!

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